Dharma Message from Rev. Marvin Harada

“The Value of Listening”

FROM THE DECEMBER ISSUE OF
the Online Newsletter of OCBC

 

    The main practice in Shin Buddhism is amazingly simple, yet very difficult to truly do.  That practice is to listen to the Dharma.  Listening is something that anyone can do, whether they are young or old, man or woman, rich or poor.  But although it is something anyone can do, very few do it well.  Even listening or hearing as a whole, in a general sense, is difficult, much less to really hear the Dharma as we refer to in Shin Buddhism.

    To give you an example, I myself am a horrible listener in general.  Sometimes my wife will ask me to go to the store to pick up a few things.  They are just a few things, maybe four or five things.  She tells me, “Get this and this and some of this.  Should I write it down for you?”  I reply, “No, I got it.”  I go to the store, and in shopping around, I will come home with maybe one out of the five things that she asked.  One out of five.  That is also a horrible free throw average.  Why did I forget the other four things?  Was it because I didn’t write them down?  When I reflect on it, I realize I forgot them because I never really heard what she said to me.  I wasn’t really listening. 

    We have all had that experience with our children.  You give them some instructions or chores to do, and they either get them wrong or don’t do them.  Why is this?  Because they never really heard our instructions, they never really listened.  Listening is so crucial in receiving any kind of instructions or directions. 

    We have all struggled with trying to remember people’s names.  I once read in a book that gave tips on how to remember names, that the most important thing to do in learning a new name is hearing it the first time.  When we meet someone, we usually just say, “How do you do,” and we don’t really listen to their name as they introduce themselves to us.  No wonder we can’t remember their name.  We never heard it in the first place. 

    Ananda was one of the Buddha’s foremost disciples.  He is regarded as the disciple with the best memory.  Many of the sutras begin with, “Thus the Buddha spoke to Ananda.”  Ananda is the one who recited from memory what he remembered the Buddha to have taught and said.  Was it Ananda’s memory that was great, or was it Ananda’s attitude of listening that was crucial?  In order to remember, he had to first truly hear, he had to listen with an open heart and mind, and receive the teachings from his master, Shakyamuni Buddha.

    Shinran Shonin was a deep listener.  He listened to his teacher, Honen, with his entire being.   

    On our altar, we commonly use chrysanthemums in the flower arrangements.  Chrysanthemums have a symbolic meaning as well.  The Japanese word for the flower Chrysanthemum is kiku.  The word kiku can also mean, “to hear” or “to listen.”  Thus, chrysanthemums are a flower that symbolically urge us to “listen” to the Dharma.

    I wonder how different the world would be if more people could just simply listen.  How many marriages might be saved if husbands and wives could simply listen to one another.  Marriages fail not because of love lost, but because people lose the ability or fail to see the value of simply listening.  How many family conflicts could be resolved if parents and children could find it in themselves to listen to one another?  Usually we expect others to listen to us.  “My wife never listens to me.  My kids never listen to me.  My boss never listens to me.”  But if we reflect on ourselves, maybe we are the ones who never listen. 

    How many wars could have been avoided if rulers and leaders could listen instead of speak?  When conflicts between countries arise, all the more we should listen.  Listening, more than anything, might be the best defense weapon against preventing nuclear holocaust. 

    If one can listen, you can hear many different things.  I remember being so impressed with the movie, “Ray,” which was about the blind singer and musician, Ray Charles.  Being blind, Ray Charles learned to get around and take care of himself by relying a lot on his sense of hearing.  He could hear a hummingbird when others couldn’t hear it.  He could tell whether he was walking by a building or a driveway from the sound that echoed from his shoes as he walked. 

    To hear, to be able to listen, is a great virtue.  In Shin Buddhism it is the virtue.  It is the  greatest thing.  If we can hear and listen, we can receive any teaching.  We can listen to and receive both praise and criticism.  We can hear the cry of sorrow, and the laughter of joy.  We can listen beyond ethnic boundaries.  We can listen to a child or an adult equally.  We can listen to a student or a teacher.  We can listen to and learn from everyone. 

    If we cultivate this heart of listening, then we can gain something from any message.  I know a woman who is a deep listener of the Dharma.  Once she went to a Christian church with a relative who was Christian.  After the service, the relative complained that she couldn’t understand what the minister was trying to say in his sermon.  However, the Buddhist woman, having cultivated a heart and mind that is able to listen, really understood what the minister was trying to say.  Ironically, she explained to her Christian relative what the Christian minister’s sermon was about. 

    There is untold value in listening and hearing.  Shin  Buddhism is the path of listening to and deeply hearing the Dharma, not only through your ears, but through your heart and mind as well.

Namuamidabutsu,

Rev. Marvin Harada

Rev. Harada is a resident Minister at the Orange County Buddhist Church

 

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